Monopoly in Iowa City Turned Out Really Well for Some People in The Room

Bob is always flapping his well-brushed gums about something he calls the "singularity," which is a concept he learned from Star Trek or the Filth Element or whatever sci-fi books he reads. The "singularity" is the name for the moment in the not-too-distant future when one generation of humans will be so intelligent that the previous generation will not be able to understand them. Sort of like how some people have no clue what a blog is or what a gigabyte is, or how to use the multiple remote controls lying on the coffee table in their parents house to turn on their parents fancy shmancy big screen television.

Bob says most of humanity won't even know when the Singularity will happen, but I'm fairly certain he believes it has happened already based on spending time with me. He thinks I'm the least intelligent person he knows because I've never played X-Box or changed a tire. Mostly he marvels at how much more adept he is with "technology" than me. He enjoys knowing how to "save" files" and to "export" data. He'll watch me get frustrated and say "Just hit control 'H' and the tab key. You don't know Control 'H'?"

And I know he really got a kick watching me suck at video games. On Friday we visited my brother in Iowa City, Iowa, at the University of Iowa, the state school for Iowa. Joe co-produces and writes the University's talk show, Iowa Desk and Couch. They were taping Friday. I don't see my kid brother (ten years my junior) very often, but I'm proud as hell of him, so I wanted to see him in action. Afterwards, we played video games in his dorm room. College kids play video games. Joe plays video games. Bob was just in college last spring. Bob played video games in college. I drank. We're all very similar.

The last video system I understood was Nintendo. The last game I "beat" came out in 1986. Bob and my brother thought it was HILARIOUS to watch me tap helplessly on the array of buttons and toggles and joysticks, watching my on-screen avatar crash and burn into buildings and people. What a hoot they had snatching the controls out of my hand to show me how easy it was to maneuver in the world of video technology.

But later in the evening we played Monopoly. My kind of game, people. Low-tech game, to be sure, but a classic one; a game steeped in the classic virtues of combat. Like poker and Zen Buddhism, victory in Monopoly depends on mastery of complex interpersonal skills, such as the ability to yell at opponents, call them names, and threaten to "f#$k this board up if Bob gets another damn Free Parking!"

And you know who won when the technological aspect was removed, when raw intelligence was back at the forefront? Joe. But I did come in second, which was way better than Bob who came in third. Oh man it was so embarrassing for him. I think he wet himself, which worked out for Joe because there's a school policy that if your older brother stomps Bob in Monopoly while visiting you get a 4.0 for the semester because of the stress in dealing with how awesome the guy who isn't Bob is.

Until then.