NOTES on Colin from a Library in Sterling, Illinois

Let's see. Bob and I came to Prophetstown, Illinois to look for Colin Buyno. Can't say too much about Colin. Met him 7 years ago, he looks like a satyr but loves Jesus. We wanted to find him for my own mollification. We thought the best way to do this was to check into the only motel in town and hit the bars. Both of them. At the first bar we found out where Sally and Philip-Colin's parents-live. We also found out that Micah, Colin's youngest brother married and has two kids with one in the oven. His wife's oven, not his. He doesn't have an oven. We were informed that Micah attended a 6 pm church service at the Winning Wheels Rehabilitation Center for Brain and Spinal Injuries. We also found out Bob knows the lyrics to Tommy Tutone's 1982 hit, 867-5309/Jenny.

At the second place, Kuehl's, we found Ben, who knew Juanita, Colin's ex-wife and mother of his four children. I remember Juanita because I thought it was cool that Colin married a Mexican woman. Juanita lives two doors down from Kuehl's. Around midnight, Ben enthusiastically escorted us to her front door and we called out her name like alley cats. Lo and behold she appeared at the top of the stairs like a Latin Juliet with five children. She told us she just gave birth three months ago to a baby boy. We hugged and cried and talked about old times. Actually, Juanita barely remembered me. We made our way back into the bar. Juanita went back to her apartment, but not before promising to meet with us Sunday afternoon.

Well she didn't. No surprise. Nor did we find Micah at the Rehab center. Nor did we find any administrators. We did find a bunch of people in wheel chairs, several rec rooms, one of which had the classic mini-basketball, 2-basket, timed shooting game you find almost exclusively in Chuck E Cheese's. So I played that for a while and did cartwheels and rode a bicycle belonging to Jeff Conant, and performed magic tricks for one of the residents and did a Word Search with another, and gave a fake sermon in the chapel. Bob was thoroughly disgusted. Especially when I threw a resident's exercise ball at him. We left the facility by hopping the front gate and peeling rubber out of the parking lot.


We spent the rest of the night waiting to hear from our key contacts. I bought 16 dollars worth of bulk vegetables from Mrs. G's grocery, along with ranch dip, and we watched cable television and noshed on peppers, cauliflower, mini-carrots, and brocoli- just like two vegan girls nursing a bad break-up. We watched Sleuth, a taut criminal thriller starring Michael Caine and Lawrence Olivier and the cartoon channel. There were three shows devoted to parodying Star Wars, which creeped me out since I draw upon Star Wars as one of my foundational narratives. I couldn't sleep very well, woke up at 4:14 am and went for a drive around the area. My mind is a bowl of teeming neuroses and thoughts. After we find Colin we'll make our way back to Sioux City to interview my parents.

Until we find Colin,

Until Then.

PS I just want to mention Uncle Mike and Aunt Linda and Gramma Clarke. All three win the purple heart of good hosting. And Mike, the word is "paparazzi" not "potsarotzzi," and the Arabic word for grandmother is not "tutu."